Some Days You Just Can’t Win

Getting my car back after three weeks with the pain mobile should be a blessing and I thought it was till I tried to connect my trailer to her. It seems panel beaters do not make good auto electricians. Not only did the trailer lights not work at all, I got a fault message that I now have to seek out and the battery went flat on me. Thank goodness she still drives as well as she ever did.

What a Day

Sometimes you have one of those days that seem to have everything and yesterday was one such day. It started by rushing my neighbor to hospital because she had a mini-stroke and I thought that would be enough. I then got to see my car because the repairers have a difficulty with something, so I am off to try and sought that out today. The TV is broken which means no soccer….Yay. I got a call from a mate to try and sought out his car for a registration inspection, a Lightning bolt hitting a pole next to me (never saw that before), a hail storm, a road trip through a storm, a car moving on its own as I was walking toward it, a threat and last but not least a beer (which felt so good even though I don’t drink). The other bonus was I got to here the Popey theme for the fist time in years.

Yep some days just have bits of everything.

Mailbox Monday

It all started like this, a drive and you see something unusual by the side of the road and you think it will make a great pic. Then you read someone else’s blog and now have excuse to hunt down these unusual monuments and post them. These mailboxs started me on my quest. In the days of old it was common to behead a foe and place their head on a pike as a sign of your victory. Now days you can use them to receive your mail too.

Now I am a blogging moron so I am supposed to link back but will do that once my education levels exceed that of just being able to post (for pity sake it took me ages to learn how to add images). So if you have gotten here I am sure the page back button will get you back to someone smarter than I. If you wish to comment so I can learn who you are please do so and I promise to visit and will link when I learn how.

Happy Mailbox Monday.

C.P.R. Barbie

Toy manufacturers are being set to release C.P.R. Barbie. Parenting groups are outraged when one toddler got injured when trying to perform his skills on a midget.

Typically Male

When it comes to flowers, I have no idea what they are called and it surprises me the plethora of names they have. I do however appreciate them and think they are pretty. I got told this is a Dahlia and as mentioned I have no grounds with which to object. I just like it.

Public Service Announcement

Authorities warn that having a chocolate fountain can be a child dining hazard

Close-up’s

A public alert has been issued that some seagulls are now flying off with your cameras. Sometimes they tend to drop them in the most awkward of places.

Fading to the Background

When someone you care about deeply calls themselves a creature and then tells you what they don’t deserve, it is upsetting. It becomes anger because you feel you have been placed in a position where no matter what you say or do is going to be of help. You see the seam’s of their ego open and you want to mend them but can’t. Their esteem oozes from the gaps but you have nothing to fill the void with. Recognition of your actions is missed because they want to be spoon fed the words. But to spoon feed those words is open for interpretation and can be later taken as hollow.

Then you come to a point were you assess how much you are a part of this problem and see that It may be your fault, so you become less involved, even though you don’t want too. You want this person to be a part of your life that you will settle with the less frequent contact than not at all. You want to tell them that you are there for them when they need you. You wish you could find a way to say that they are the most beautiful thing on this earth to you.

But silence seems to be the only thing that comes out of your mouth and you fade to the background because I don’t have the words convince you of my integrity.

Stumping the Orgasm

Sir Paul McCartney and Heather Mills divorce has been given a lot of media attention of late, especially since she is trying to get 170 million dollars U.S. from the former Beetle. The notoriety of the celebrities involved is of no consequence. What is is that for the four year marriage she wants a sizeable amount for breaking a prenuptial agreement. It is reported that her council have ceased to represent her due to non payment and she has elected to represent herself in court.

It is typical of the “give me”, attitude “some” women seem to possess when facing divorce. They instigate proceedings, cry poor and want the estranged husband to support the court case against him and then try to take as much as they can. It is an affront to other women that these women are equating the word “wife” with “prostitute”. She has rejected 20 million with a further 2.5 million every year until their daughter turns 18.

Mills was not there to support McCartney while he was making his money, nor should she be rewarded for breaking a prenuptial agreement. McCartney has made a generous offer even when he should be giving her nothing.

The private affairs of the two have been aired in court, with Mill’s former lover admitting to a six month affair. Even admitting that when rubbing her stump the right way she would achieve orgasm. It does make you wonder if her being wobbly one her prosthetic leg, during her appearance on dancing with the stars, could now be attributed to other reasons.

The Heavens Took Away My Baby

Nearly two months ago, while on a pleasant day out, the heavens opened up and granted the earth a gift. It bestowed on us some of the largest hail stones I have ever seen. From a sanctuary I was able to retrieve on one but there were lager ones to the one pictured.

In the line of fire was my car, Bindi Blue. To some it may seem weird to give your car a name but it is a personal trait that I have done with every vehicle I have owned. The result of which, turned her once clean lines to resemble more of a lunar landscape.

With the major amount of damage done by the hail it has taken two months to get her to be repaired and it will be a while till she is. I have been given a loan car yesterday but I miss my Bindi. Like a lover above your station, I feel unworthy of Bindi but so blessed at the same time. Our last major journey together was a wild and wet trip that inspired my last post. It was because of her that I was able to survive the lunatic, that seemed hell bent on running me off the road.

I was called a car snob yesterday, I disagree, I am a Bindi snob as she is my baby

A Swerve to the Left

I would like, if I may, to tell you of a strange journey. While it is true, that our hero Mr. Cellophane and his car Bindi Blue, had taken this trip numerous times before, it is also true that he was exhausted form an eventful few days. It is also true that it was raining, clouds thick and heavy. It was on a dark stormy night, a night that would end in frustration more than infamy.

Cue the Time Warp as background music.

It’s astounding, the rain is beating,
There is madness… on the road.
A silly young driver
With his mates are all speeding.
I have to, keep control.

I remember a silly young driver,
Swerving across the road,
The dread start to fill me,
As a collision was calling.

Let’s do a hand brake again,
Try to avoid him again.

It’s just a swerve to the left,
And then a swerve to the right.
Put your foot on the break
And pull your hand break tight
Then there’s that violent spin
That really drives you insane.

Let’s do a hand brake again,
Try to avoid him again.

The rain it was beating,
The street is all gleaming.
Slow down and forget him.
No, not at all.
He’d slow down to match me.
Then geek tried to ram me.
Now high on adrenaline, I see all

With a bit of a break flip,
You’re into a side drift
get it wrong and nothing will ever be the same
Your heart populations,
Like on medication

Let’s do a hand brake again,
Try to avoid him again.

Well I was driving on my own
just keeping my own
When a car full of goons did an evil thing
They tried to pass
And they’d run out of steam
And on the flats they tried to disroad me
They tried to ram and then swerve at me
And then stop dead right in front of me.

Let’s do a hand brake again,
Try to avoid him again.

It’s just a swerve to the left,
And then a swerve to the right.
Put your foot on the break
And pull your hand break tight
Then there’s that violent spin
That really drives you insane.

Let’s do a hand brake again,
Try to avoid him again.

Setup

There are those that think that I have posted with hidden meaning. When being told of this I did do one and made no secret of it. I knew that what ever I did post would have been met with opposition but did it anyway in a different way to which I had originally thought. I thought the original idea may have been offensive so the pictures I took I have sent to the subject and they can do with them as they will. The fact is that the person that I aimed my last post too has not contacted me to voice offence. I did attack their height but then again, I have done this in person. I know that the person implied reads my blog so if I have offended I apologize.

Till now there have been no hidden meanings in my posts. I did attempt some humor in an attempt to keep me blogging. The humor and the blog is my own and I make no apologies for the content as you are free to not read it if you so desire. If you think that I am going to give out deep personal secrets on this blog, then think again. If I have do offend, I will apologize as it is not my intent. Hence, why I never name names or post photos of people I know personally. The content I usually write about is benign in nature and is that way because it is for public viewing.

I am angered that I was setup; I am appalled that I was equated to another as I didn’t do anything behind anyone’s back. I allow anonymous commenter’s and invite opinion both positive and negative. To the objector, make your opposition public so all know that you were offended. To the implied, I apologize in advance if offence was taken.

I made a pledge this year that I am not going to be suffocated in my opinion or humor. I am not going to change for anyone and if you cannot accept me for me then thank you for reading my blog and I wish you all the very best for the future.

Hobbit Camp Chairs

The land of Hobbiton has been busy in a new industry. It seems that home brewing and growing tobacco have taken a back seat to furniture making, their latest release include these plush camp chairs. Perfect for the Hobbit to play a guitar on after a heavy day’s fruit picking.

The Devil’s T-shirt

I had planned to use this pic as a jovial tribute to my regular commenter, “Devil’s Advocate”. I bought it yesterday while looking through a pile of T-shits that were on sale. As soon as I saw it I had the idea mentioned above as it seemed like a funny idea at the time.

However the events of the last two days seem to be synonymous with help the face on the T-shirt would give. I had planned a day out that went sour at the outset. I am loosing my car next week as she goes in for repairs for hail damage, so I was trying to see things before I get grounded. The cause of the non day out could not be helped and was understandable. But after a great day spending time with a friend, I had to brave a trip home in a storm that nearly took me off the road more than once while suffering a headache cause by an old injury.

I had to be home because my family sought the use of my box trailer today. Since I will not have the use of my car next week, they wanted me to move some rubbish from their recent kitchen renovation. However I got drafted into playing mason, as my father cannot use a grinder to save his life and was quickly running out of stone for his little project. I then retrieved my trailer from where it is stored only to find that the house was empty when I got back so no help with the rubbish removal. Since the junk comprises of an old oven and fridge, I was not going to move it on my own.

Also due to a little accident yesterday with my mobile phone, I had to re-boot the thing that made me loose all my contacts. I should have committed them to memory but can’t ring anyone to get their numbers.
So my car sits outside with the trailer still attached and the most productive thing I have done for today is write this post. So in future Mr. Devil thanks but no thanks, I will wait till God has time to take my call.

Doctor Evil’s Houseboat.

For all you Austin Powers fans, fear not, because he is no longer frozen in outer space, circling the earth, but taken residence on Sydney Harbor. He has taken the guise of function coordinator and luring, would be party goers, to a nightmare trip across the water.

Innocently enough, you will be presented an invitation to, of all things, a wedding. You will be given less than a weeks notice and be asked to do some chores. For me it would be to assist with the photography. It was an occasion that would see me being followed all night by one of Dr. Evil’s Hench men, in an effort to step in front of my shot at every opportunity. He will also use his camera as a weapon to try to destroy your favorite lens and in the effort see your lens cap go overboard.

Dr. Evil has perfected his weather controlling device so that you can’t use your now broken lens as signal mirror when passing by the naval base at Garden Island. Let’s face it folks you are imprisoned on this craft till such time Dr. Evil has subjected you to as much mental torture as he possibly can. His “Weather Machine” has inflicted as many casualties as it can on relatives that you avoid at the best of times. But due to the slips and falls they suffered trying to board Dr. Evil’s boat; they now feel they have a legitimate excuse to annoy you, or the copious amount of mutton, dressed as lamb that would have disintegrated your lens if not already damaged, asking you to take photos.

If you thought Dr. Evil had done his worst, then think again. He has the audacity to serve an “M.S.G.” laced, prison menu. This caused all the junior inmates to act like genital ramming goats and the alcohol making the senior members try to grope you at any given opportunity.

So Folks, Dr. Evil is alive and well and his latest plot to take over the world by subjecting you to mental torture seems like a winner, “Yeah Baby!”